Category Archives: Random

Going to Detroit, Will I Get Shot?

NORTH AMERICAN INTERNATIONAL AUTO SHOW 2010 LOGO

Tomorrow I leave for Detroit… I have my kevlar vest, medical kit including tourniquet and a bunch of blood clotting agent. From what I understand, it’s a warzone… Wait, or maybe that’s the internet fear syndrome again rearing it’s head. The internet has some of the worst information ever.

But I am actually about 8% worried that I’ll get shot… it’s the same fear that prevented me from swimming in the ocean in the Dominican. I naturally assumed the second I step in that bullshit ocean, a shark would jump out and bite me right in the arm.

In all seriousness, I’m going as the guest of @FordCanada to the 2012 North American International Auto Show (#FordNAIAS). Quite frankly, I’m incredibly excited by the opportunity. I’ve never been to the show, and I know I’ve made a few people in my family jealous – I’ve promised to take a ton of pictures.  I’m also excited that @TalkBackShow cohost and one of my best friends @ValTorontoGal will also be attending the show! I’ll be back on Tuesday night, but will try to get some blog coverage done for you wonderful people! Let me know if there’s anything specific you would like to see.

God damnit, I just Googled Detroit and this comes up… maybe it is a War Zone?

PS. Anyone else find the NAIAS logo hot? Haha. There’s clearly something wrong with me…

My Dominican Vacation

From December 27th until January 3rd I was fortunate enough to have gone on a vacation with the family to the Dominican Republic. This was no small trip (22 of us) and because we were going during a very busy time of the year,  it was definitely no small expense to organize. Punta Cana is where we stayed at the Majestic Colonial Resort. A 4 1/2 star resort, so they say.

Now, for me this was pretty exciting because it was my first time to a different country than the US. In fact, it was only the 3rd time I’ve been out of Canada… so needless to say I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. The internet is full of horror stories, enough to instill enough fear in me that I essentially packed an entire pharmacy with me… I wish that was a joke. It’s a damn good thing I trust people more than the internet, because if I did, I would never leave my house. Quite frankly, starring at the wall is actually enjoyable for me. You see, every time I travel I seem to get sick. Vancouver, got a cold. New York, flu that nearly killed me (not literally, but I was with my dad’s asshole bitch ex-girlfriend and her bitch daughter at the time which made it feel like death). Quebec, fevers and debilitating migraines. I’d survive a nuclear war well, my body clearly loves being locked in a bunker.

(Apologies in advance, this post is image heavy. Live vicariously!  I’m going to split the trip up into 3 blog posts.) OH! And PS… All the images below were taken with my new Motorola RAZR which I received for being Canada’s Social BLAZR. Truly an incredible camera if you ask me. 8MP photos and 1080P HD video! Click the images to see them in better quality!

Our flight was at 8AM, which meant we had to be up at 4:30AM. Brutal… But after the four hour flight we walk into this…

29C. Sunny and humid. (While there is water on the ground, the only time it rained over the 8 days was at night time on 3 occasions.)

Now… I know that island lifestyle is a little more relaxed than it is in Canada or the US… but we had to wait about an 90 minutes for our bags. Here’s my little brother exhausted from waiting.

Finally they arrived though and we were on our way to the bus and then to the resort where *I* could finally change out of my long sleeve shirt and jeans.

Release the Kraken?

Then we finally arrived at the resort, which was very underwhelming to look at the exterior… but once we stepped inside…

Now at this point it’s about 3PM… our rooms won’t be ready for another 1-2 hours. Brutal. So me and my brother did the only common sense thing, we had our first beer of the day – Presidente is the local beer and it’s actually quite good!

Now, here’s the reality of the Dominican – They don’t care. Everything is very whatever. It doesn’t matter that our group of 22 had spent tens of thousands of dollars, they didn’t care if we had a problem. Here’s what the problem was – when we booked the vacation, we were very specific about a few things. Considering we were travelling with kids, elderly, wheelchairs and our family we needed some of the rooms to be ground floor, close proximity, next door etc. While I didn’t book it, my parents travel agent did and the instructions were very clear on what we needed – we got none of it. Our rooms were all over the place. 4 rooms were in a separate building, our rooms were on different floors and it was just a mess.

Trying to talk to Staff, They Don't Seem to Care

The family spent a couple hours with the front desk trying to remedy this nightmare, to no avail. They didn’t care. They had given our rooms away to others. I’ve learned that in the Dominican, it’s first come first serve.

So, my brother and I get our room key and we go to our room (a 15 minute walk from front desk). Keys don’t work. So we go back to the front desk (another 15 minute walk) and get new keys. We walk back to our room, (15 minutes) still don’t work. So we go back to front desk and tell them… ‘Oh it must be a problem with the door. I’ll send someone.’ How long? ‘Oh, 10 minutes.’ So we go back to our room, double time to meet the person to fix our door (7 minutes)…. 40 minutes later still no one. So walk back to the front desk, furious (15 minutes + exhausted/sweaty). Ask them what’s up, this time they actually radio someone… ‘It will be about 50 minutes.’ WHAT! Ugh. Grab a Cerveza, and 15 minutes back to the room to wait. Finally the guy comes and recodes the door.

“Just need to get new keys from the door and it will open.”

“Okay great. How long will that be till you’re back with the keys?”

“Oh, 15 or 20 minutes.”

“Gracias.”

20 minutes later, no keys… so another 15 minute walk to the front desk to get keys… and finally we’re in our room. At this point it’s about 8PM. We’ve been waiting 3.5 hours to get into our room. No one cares there. You can tip and they still didn’t seem to care. There’s more nightmare stories to tell about the rooms, but I’ll save it for the next blog post. In the meantime, here was the one great part of our room – the view.

Oh and morning Sunrises were incredible. Very different from the yellow, orange, red sunrises we get in Canada. I believe it has something to do with the equator and not having the curve of the earth affecting the sun? Probably also the ocean. Who knows… But morning sunrises were always very dark, and then very suddenly a light blueish colour, followed by this.

Again, this is the first day here… well, actually the first 18 hours. The remaining 7 days I’ll cover in the next two blog posts. So stay tuned!

Also, any similar experiences with All Inclusives not seeming to care?

Children Tears are the Sign of a Good Christmas Prank

There’s only 5 days till Christmas, and all through my house.
Is me constantly stirring and I better not see a mouse.
I don’t have a chimney, but by god I’m cranked.
I’m going to get my brother, get him good and pranked.

Christmas is probably one of my favourite times of the year. I actually really enjoy spending time with friends and family. Enjoying good food, drink and of course, presents. I’m always a little overly generous at times during Christmas. I like the idea of having a ton of wrapped gifts for other people. I always try to get that one gift for one person that makes their holiday. A couple years ago it was Bon Jovi tickets for my Dad.

That being said, I’m also a big fan of getting a prank gift for someone. Typically that person is my brother. He’s 18, and for the last 8 or so year, there’s typically been SOMETHING to prank him. My sister and I are fans of the traditional coal prank, where you put a whole bunch of coal wrapped up in his stocking.

This year though, I want to make it a good one. I’m thinking of putting his gift in a freezer bag, freezing it in a bucket of water… then putting that frozen block into another watertight bag and then wrap that. Thoughts? Seems like a lot of work though for probably not a great pay off of stupid laughter.

Did you see Jimmy Kimmel the other day? He had parents give an early gift to their kids.. but it had to be a crappy gift. If you missed it, here you go:

Hilarious. Also, Fat slobs who love Star Wars make me smile. I think we also stumbled upon how to get America thin again?

And finally… because I know my opening rendition of “Twas” twasn’t very good… here you go!

I’m off to the Dominican on the 27th and will be doing some blogging from down there. Mostly to make people jealous. But I’ll probably have a post or two before that. Fuck I love Christmas!

Notable’s Sponsored Spam

Fresh on the heels of the first ever Notable Awards, for which I called the superfluous awards, I have a new gripe with the curators of Notable young professionals in Canada… this time though, rather than the awards, which obviously required a lot of work and effort, the issue I have is with the ‘love’ I received in my email inbox.

For those who aren’t subscribed, Notable.ca has a newsletter that seemingly is sent out every 5 days with new content. It sometimes has interesting content, sometimes it does not. But what it does do is reminds me of their brand on a regular basis and because it’s not a newsletter packed full of bullshit, I tolerate receiving it so often. Well, that was until I received the latest issue on Monday. Here’s the headline…

My immediate reaction was one of complete frustration. Why the fuck are you all of a sudden selling out your email list to the highest bidder? When did I ever agree to receive some lame sponsored post? But I held my tongue. I realized that maybe the content was actually the same, but that just the title sponsor was there. Boy was I wrong. Instead of the usual Notable ‘You Should Note It’, I get this… and before I go to the image, here’s what it is… it’s an ad. That’s it. A fucking ad. No different than the “You BiggR PENi5 NOW!” emails that I get.

I’ve circled the main problems with this garbage (besides it being ‘Sponsored Love’)…

Gift… Notable has the fucking balls to think that sending me this is a gift. A gift… imagine for one second that your boyfriend or girlfriend said “Merry Christmas baby! I got you a coupon for 20% off!” I’d dump that chick.  Also, here’s the disgrace in this… RW&Co MANY TIMES offers 25%, 30% + 50% discounts. The exclusive is less than their standard discounts? How sad! (Source)

$85… I didn’t know there was an RW&Co and quite frankly, if you’re trying to get me to at least try your store, I’m not going to drop $85 on product. You want to get new clients? Don’t put a minimum! It’s a percentage not a set dollar figure.  If I spend $1 to get the discount, isn’t that better than me spending no dollars because $85 is too high?

Lastly, RW&Co… have you ever been in their stores? I hadn’t, so I checked it out because I didn’t want to write this without having at least been in their store… Notable?! You think RW&Co is Notable? RW&Co reminded me of a knock off H&M. Do you even know what Notable means?? “Notability is the property of being worthy of notice, having fame, or being considered to be of a high degree of interest, significance, or distinction.” RW&Co is not worthy of notice, it’s not famous and it’s certainly not something with a high degree of interest, significance or distinction.

Quite frankly Notable, this was the most ridiculous sponsored email I’ve received in a while. Good to know that Notable is just a name and not an actual principle with your company though.

Next up, Sponsored Love: Notable Members Only: Walmart has the Hottest Spring Fashions Ever!

PS. Having to wait a day (nevermind 2 weeks) to unsubscribe me from your list is a joke right?

My Birthday Month That Almost Wasn’t

For those who don’t know, December is my birthday month. December 7th, I celebrate turning a year older, a year wiser and a year more thankful. Most people know me to sometimes be a little controversial, some say my blog posts come across as bitter, hell I’ve even been called a bully because I call people out on their bull. The reality is that I’m so appreciative of life that I hate when people don’t really respect it. Poisoning bodies with cigarettes or killing our liver, being reckless or stupid, not appreciating the smallest things in life… it’s really crazy how people use this short thing we call life. So in that respect I am bitter. I think people only truly learn to appreciate everything in life when they realize how fragile life is.

But, this isn’t really meant to be a ‘shame on you’ blog post… it’s meant to be a celebration of life. Here’s why…

I was born on December 7th. I was a seemingly healthy 8lb baby boy ready to take on the world. Or so everyone thought… my body did not. I was born with an extralobar pulmonary sequestration, in normal terms, I had additional lung tissues that was growing inside of me. It caused me to have hyperactive breathing(tachypneic) and made me turn blue (cyanotic) and faint a lot. To get an idea of what this was like, breath in and out as fast as you can for 20 seconds and notice how quickly your body reacts. At 3 days old, I was sent to Sick Kids Hospital. To save my life, open chest surgery had to be performed. This was going to be a tough time because the amount of lung tissue they had to extract was large, and with such a small patient and the fragility of the tissues it was near (my condition made medical history). I can’t even imagine how my parents must have felt… here was their first kid and one of the first pictures of me…

Fortunately, the operation was a success and I am still here today. But the reality is, it’s quite possible I might not have been. I’m reminded every day of this because I have a scar that runs 40% around my body. From the middle right side of my chest, all the way around to my spine.

Every year around this time I make a donation to Sick Kids Hospital. But this time around, I realize I have a bit of a popular forum with this blog… so maybe I can do a little more than my donation.

So this time around, if you want to make a donation directly to Sick Kids, you can do so here.

Alternatively, I’m going to be accepting donations through Paypal which will then be donated to Sick Kids in one lump sum. Every dollar counts! Anyone who wants to go this route, let me know and I will tweet any message to my followers as a thank you to you! It’s the least I can do to recognize you for your generosity.


I will collect from now until December 25th and provide a daily update on the total donated.

Oh.. here’s the medical journal entry! (Thank you mom for saving and scanning these for me.)

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