Category Archives: Movies
I’m in a Relationship
This morning I realized I was in a relationship when one small insignificant thing caused me to get really upset. But this wasn’t a girlfriend causing me grief and it’s not going to be a long relationship either… in fact it might end on the 27th of March. I’m in a relationship with a contest. The Doritos Write the End contest that I’ve been pushing endlessly to friends, family, peers, enemies and to anyone who steps foot into the two Starbucks in my neighbourhood.
I’m cursed with a blessing of demanding the best of myself and in anything I do. So with this, I want to win. I don’t think anything short of making the final cut will I be satisfied with.
So I decided to make a youtube video that might grab some attention. I spent some dough on the supplies and filmed it all. I edited it and had it nearly complete…. then my computer crashed. Started over… finished. Saved it and shut down my computer (it was 5AM!) This morning I go to turn it on to post it to Youtube… no dice. My computer won’t even power up.
Chaos, rage, frustration!
I take my computer apart in hopes I can fix it. No dice. I decide I need to replace the power source (with help of people on Twitter). So after disconnecting about 14 connections I’m able to pull out the Power Source… then I realize… I’ll never be able to put this together again. While I’m great with the interwebz and how a computer functions (if I get a virus)… but I’m not anywhere near great with the construction of a computer.
After I calmed down and took a deep breath, I decided it’s not the end of the world. I’m still in 11th place in the contest (though… I did some research on the 10 above me, I know two people are cheating and suspect 1 other.) So I guess I have to leave a portion of this contest to luck/fate/good vibes.
That being said… I still have 9 days! So if you’re reading this the first time, vote for me in the Doritos contest here in Canada!
I'm sorry... I lost the patient.
One thing we should all be happy about… I’m not a doctor. If I was, chances are all my patients would die and their hearts be on the floor if my treatment of my computer is any indication!
Happy Friday!
PS. Here’s a teaser for the video…
Review: Battle: Los Angeles – Garbage
The fantastic premise of Battle: Los Angeles is that after years of alien UFO encounters (promo posters mention Los Angeles 1942, Seoul in 1983, London in 1991 etc), the aliens finally reveal their intent – war. When I learned about the movie about a year ago, I felt the anticipation of a boy on Christmas eve. I couldn’t wait to finally see the no holds barred battle between human and a technically advanced alien species where humans courage and passion band together to beat what surely should be an easy victory.
WARNING: The images contained within this post makes this movie look much cooler than it is. If you start to read, make sure you finish!
It’s a concept you seemingly can’t fail either. Looking back on past great alien movie flick from ET, Cloverfield, Alien, Fire in the Sky, Independence Day, Terminator, Avatar, District 9, etc, all of them were built right. There aren’t many original alien flicks that didn’t become great successes.
Sadly, this one does fail in nearly every category. But let’s break it down.
Rating: 3.5/10
One Line Review: Take Independence Day and remove all the great things about it, then force it to have sex with Skyline and a Battle Los Angeles will be born.
Setup: There is barely any. Meteors are found that will impact Earth. Then they do impact Earth. No tie in to the past, like their promo posts. No character development other than Aaron Eckhardt lost some marines in what we can only assume is Iraq or Afghanistan and he’s getting old, oh and some dude is getting married.
Camera: Michael J. Fox must have been doing all the camera work. Not once did we get a shot that you could actually get your eyes to focus for a second. Brutal.
Buildup: The invasion happens in an instant and is only shown through a TV feed of some knockoff CNN. Not only that, but the ‘feed’ is so incredibly bad, fuzzy and blurry you might as well just close your eyes and imagine it. We all just saw helicopter footage of the Japanese tsunami, it doesn’t look like it was filmed in 1912.
Action: Well… here’s what I was expecting. I wanted a battle. I didn’t give a damn about plot, or characters or anything… I wanted an epic two hour long battle and instead I got Aaron Eckhardt working out. The action is GARBAGE!!! There was no massive tank squadron rolling into LA cannons blasting off at the aliens, no Warthogs strafing alien positions firing missiles and their Gatling guns, there was no F18′s deploying any ordinance, there was no Black Hawk helicopter launching rockets and machine gun fire in the aliens direction.
AT MOST, we get a group of 10 marines firing a couple M16 assault rifles. Oh and btw, the movie has Tanks, Warthogs, F18s, Black Hawk helicopters, F22 Raptors, endless amounts of soldiers… we just never get to see them in action. Acting as decoys seems to be their best duty.
Comedy: Action movies are best when the characters bond over some comedy, it relieves the tension and makes you care more about the characters. In this case, we got none. A few jokes in passing that were perhaps written by Stephen King – yes, he doesn’t write jokes. That’s the point. They were awful.
Conclusion: Me feeling like a piece of shit for having wasted $10 and hours of my life (I watched the trailers probably 50 times.) This was the worst fucking movie of the year… and I’ve seen Steven Seagal’s latest movies!
Click to expand this picture... is it just me or does the one on the left look like Charlie Sheen and the one on the right look like Kirk Douglas in his prime?! Lol.
Suggestion: Don’t waste your time or your money. Seriously. If you accidentally see it in a few years when it’s on some late night movie channel, you might get your time’s worth. But save your money. Please, trust me on this! I’d have rather taken my $9.95 ticket fee and spent it on plastic army guys and created my own imaginary battle between aliens and my plastic soldier… it would have had more action and comedy!
2011 Oscar Results
I’ve updated this blog from a predictions blog post, to a results blog post!
Unlike in 2010 where my predictions went 14/24. This year I did not fair so well… 9/24.
I want to point out two snubs that the Oscar selection committee failed to include. First, Actor in a Leading Role Robert Duvall in Get Low should have been nominated. It was a truly great movie and he played it extraordinarily well. In fact, better than Jeff Bridges in True Grit.
Second, Tron: Legacy for a few categories including Costume Design (the suits were incredible), and perhaps an even bigger snub – Daft Punk’s Original Score. That soundtracks was beautiful and fit the movie so well. This I was really disappointed by. Hell, they should have even received a nomination for Visual Effects, but I’d have let that slide if they got one of the other two. Sound Editing simply isn’t enough.
That being said, I felt there were some shockers in terms of who actually won! Check out my prediction (made in the original blog post on the 25th) and the actual winner below!
Best Picture
Predicted Winner: The King’s Speech
Actual Winner: The King’s Speech
Other Finalists: Black Swan, The Fighter, Inception, The Kids Are All Right, 127 Hours, The Social Network, Toy Story 3D, True Grit, Winter’s Bone
Actor in a Leading Role
Predicted Winner: Colin Firth in The King’s Speech
Actual Winner: Colin Firth in The King’s Speech
Other Finalists: Javier Bardem in “Biutiful”, Jeff Bridges in “True Grit”, Jesse Eisenberg in “The Social Network”, James Franco in “127 Hours”
Actor in a Supporting Role
Predicted Winner: Christian Bale in The Fighter
Actual Winner: Christian Bale in The Fighter
Other Finalists: John Hawkes in “Winter’s Bone”, Jeremy Renner in “The Town”, Mark Ruffalo in “The Kids Are All Right”, Geoffrey Rush in “The King’s Speech”
Actress in a Leading Role
Predicted Winner: Natalie Portman in Black Swan
Actual Winner: Natalie Portman in Black Swan
Other Finalists: Annette Bening in “The Kids Are All Right”, Nicole Kidman in “Rabbit Hole”, Jennifer Lawrence in “Winter’s Bone”, Michelle Williams in “Blue Valentine”
Actress in a Supporting Role
Predicted Winner: Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit
Actual Winner: Melissa Leo in The Fighter
Other Finalists: Amy Adams in “The Fighter”, Helena Bonham Carter in “The King’s Speech”, Melissa Leo in “The Fighter”, Jacki Weaver in “Animal Kingdom”
Animated Feature Film
Predicted Winner: Toy Story 3 by Lee Unkrich
Actual Winner: Toy Story 3 by Lee Unkrich
Other Finalists: “How to Train Your Dragon” Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois, ”The Illusionist” Sylvain Chomet
Art Direction
Predicted Winner: Inception
Actual Winner: Alice in Wonderland
Other Finalists: “Alice in Wonderland“, ”Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1“, ”The King’s Speech“, ”True Grit“
Cinematography
Predicted Winner: Black Swan by Matthew Libatique
Actual Winner: Inception
Other Finalists: “Inception,” Wally Pfister, ”The King’s Speech,” Danny Cohen, ”The Social Network,” Jeff Cronenweth, ”True Grit,” Roger Deakins
Costume Design
Predicted Winner: The King’s Speech by Jenny Beavan
Actual Winner: Alice in Wonderland
Other Finalists: “I Am Love,” Antonella Cannarozzi, ”Alice in Wonderland,” Colleen Atwood, ”The Tempest,” Sandy Powell, ”True Grit” Mary Zophres
Directing
Predicted Winner: The Social Network by David Fincher
Actual Winner: The King’s Speech by Tom Hooper
Other Finalists: “Black Swan,” Darren Aronofsky, ”The Fighter,” David O. Russell, ”The King’s Speech,” Tom Hooper, ”True Grit,” Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
Documentary (Feature)
Predicted Winner: Inside Job by Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs
Actual Winner: Inside Job
Other Finalists: “Exit through the Gift Shop,” Banksy and Jaimie D’Cruz, ”Gasland,” Josh Fox and Trish Adlesic, ”Restrepo,” Tim Hetherington and Sebastian Junger, ”Waste Land,” Lucy Walker and Angus Aynsley
Documentary (Short Subject)
Predicted Winner: The Warriors of Qiugang
Actual Winner: Strangers No More
Other Finalists: “Killing in the Name“, ”Poster Girl“, ”Strangers No More“, ”Sun Come Up“
Film Editing
Predicted Winner: The Fighter
Actual Winner: The Social Network
Other Finalists: “Black Swan“, ”The King’s Speech“, ”127 Hours“, ”The Social Network“
Foreign Language Film
Predicted Winner: Biutiful – Mexico
Actual Winner: In A Better World
Other Finalists: “Dogtooth,” Greece, ”In a Better World – Haevnen,” Denmark, ”Incendies,” Canada, ”Outside the Law (Hors-la-loi),” Algeria
Makeup
Predicted Winner: Barney’s Version by Adrien Morot
Actual Winner: The Wolfman
Other Finalists: “The Way Back,” Edouard F. Henriques, Gregory Funk and Yolanda Toussieng, ”The Wolfman,” Rick Baker and Dave Elsey
Music (Original Score)
Predicted Winner: Inception by Hans Zimmer
Actual Winner: The Social Network
Other Finalists: “How to Train Your Dragon,” John Powell, ”The King’s Speech,” Alexandre Desplat, ”127 Hours,” A.R. Rahman, ”The Social Network,” Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
Music (Original Song)
Predicted Winner: ”We Belong Together” from “Toy Story 3,” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
Actual Winner: “We Belong Together” from “Toy Story 3,” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
Other Finalists: “I See the Light” from “Tangled,” Music by Alan Menken Lyric by Glenn Slater, ”If I Rise” from “127 Hours,” Music by A.R. Rahman Lyric by Dido and Rollo Armstrong, “Coming Home” from Country Song by Tom Douglas, Troy Verges and Hillary Lindsey
Short Film (Animated)
Predicted Winner: Let’s Pollute by Geefwee Boedoe
Actual Winner: The Lost Thing by Shaun Tan and Andrew Ruhemann
Other Finalists: “Day & Night,” Teddy Newton, ”The Gruffalo,” Jakob Schuh and Max Lang, ”The Lost Thing,” Shaun Tan and Andrew Ruhemann, ”Madagascar, carnet de voyage (Madagascar, a Journey Diary)” Bastien Dubois
Short Film (Live Action)
Predicted Winner: The Confession by Tanel Toom
Actual Winner: God of Love by Luke Matheny
Other Finalists: “The Crush,” Michael Creagh, ”God of Love,” Luke Matheny, ”Na Wewe,” Ivan Goldschmidt, ”Wish 143,” Ian Barnes and Samantha Waite
Sound Editing
Predicted Winner: Tron: Legacy by Gwendolyn Yates Whittle and Addison Teague
Actual Winner: Inception
Other Finalists: “Inception,” Richard King, ”Toy Story 3,” Tom Myers and Michael Silvers, ”True Grit,” Skip Lievsay and Craig Berkey, ”Unstoppable,” Mark P. Stoeckinger
Sound Mixing
Predicted Winner: The King’s Speech, Paul Hamblin, Martin Jensen and John Midgley
Actual Winner: Inception
Other Finalists: “Inception,” Lora Hirschberg, Gary A. Rizzo and Ed Novick, ”Salt,” Jeffrey J. Haboush, Greg P. Russell, Scott Millan and William Sarokin, ”The Social Network,” Ren Klyce, David Parker, Michael Semanick and Mark Weingarten, ”True Grit,” Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff and Peter F. Kurland
Visual Effects
Predicted Winner: Inception by Paul Franklin, Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley and Peter Bebb
Actual Winner: Inception
Other Finalists: “Alice in Wonderland,” Ken Ralston, David Schaub, Carey Villegas and Sean Phillips, ”Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1,” Tim Burke, John Richardson, Christian Manz and Nicolas Aithadi, ”Hereafter,” Michael Owens, Bryan Grill, Stephan Trojanski and Joe Farrell, ”Iron Man 2,” Janek Sirrs, Ben Snow, Ged Wright and Daniel Sudick
Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
Predicted Winner: The Social Network by Aaron Sorkin
Actual Winner: The Social Network by Aaron Sorkin
Other Finalists: “127 Hours,” Screenplay by Danny Boyle & Simon Beaufoy, ”Toy Story 3,” Screenplay by Michael Arndt; Story by John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich, ”True Grit,” Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, ”Winter’s Bone,” Adapted for the screen by Debra Granik & Anne Rosellini
Writing (Original Screenplay)
Predicted Winner: The Kids Are All Right by Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg
Actual Winner: The King’s Speech
Other Finalists: “Another Year,” Written by Mike Leigh, ”The Fighter,” Screenplay by Scott Silver and Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson; Story by Keith Dorrington & Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson, ”Inception,” Written by Christopher Nolan, ”The King’s Speech,” Screenplay by David Seidler
What do you think of my predictions and have you made your own?
Anyone who’s made a prediction on your blog, post a link in the comments and I’ll hot link it in this blog post!
The Wereth Eleven
One of my favourite movie genre’s has to be War. I’m a fan of realism. Well a movie that’s coming out late this month called The Wereth Eleven looks to be a really great film.
I haven’t seen any theaters that are going to screen this movie here in Canada yet, which is disappointing because based on the trailer, it really deserves one.
The story is a true one, an African-American field artillery unit – the 333rd, outnumbered 10-1 holds the line as long as possible. 11 get separated from the unit after they are overrun and end up in the town of Wereth, Belgium. They are exposed by a Nazi sympathizer. They are found and surrender to the Nazis. However, the SS takes no mercy on them and tortures, maims and murders them.
If you get a chance to see this movie (or maybe @CineplexMovies would be able to help facilitate a screening?), I’m going to recommend seeing this film.
See the trailer below.
Sexy Interview with Heather Summers
Today, you get an interview with my girl Heather Summers. For the men, you’ve probably seen Heather with your pants around your ankles. Heather is in the adult entertainment industry and making it pretty big for herself (pun so intended or that’s what she said)! Heather is Canadian by birth, though lives in the States. She’s also been a Playboy Playmate. If you’re offended easily, then you shouldn’t ever read my blog lol. Enjoy.
Hey Heather, I gotta ask right off the top (pun), are the breasts real?
They’re real fun, right?
Haha, definitely! How did you get into porn?
I looked up different openings (I admire your puns) online prior to replying to an ad. I suppose I was lucky considering the videographer had met my sister while she was a waitress, so we had an easy ice breaker.
What was the worst sexual experience in your personal life? Porn career?
This is a bold question, to be honest. The worst was probably when I was around 12 or 13 and snuck into “Tea with Mussolini” (I’m pretty sure that was the movie?) with my then-boyfriend and while we were having sex I just kept thinking, “really? This is what everyone makes SUCH a big deal out of?” I laugh about it now, but at the time I just didn’t see what the big deal was- I had already been masturbating for a few years prior, so for me, it didn’t feel “new.”
The worst in porn is getting aroused before shooting to find out talent couldn’t make it. Total bummer…I guess that’s what you call “blue balls.”
Wow, so there’s really a female blue balls huh… speaking of. what’s your sex life like in your personal life?
Limited…or non-existent. It’s by choice, but at the same time, it’s not. Chemistry is vital in intimacy, and I find it difficult being intimate with someone I share no mental/emotional connection with, ya know?
Absolutely. I thought I was just weird, but feel the same way. So If you could choose any career besides porn, what would it be?
Who said anything about choosing porn as a career? I think if anything, life is a career… I don’t know what I’ll be doing a year from now, and I don’t think it would make a difference if I knew. I can only be me- no matter what costume, mask, or lack of clothing I am wearing performing any task.
Heh. No comment. You’re Canadian by birth, but live in Arizona now… so what’s your take on the immigration policy?
If only you could hear the “pssfffhh…..” that just came out of my mouth. And the 6 sighs… I’m just happy to have been fortunate enough to have parents who could afford the cost of living in America and becoming a legal resident [immigrant]. It’s troubling to see there are children, teens, and college students/graduates who don’t share the same rights as I do simply because their parents weren’t born in America, even though they were born in the states.
That just doesn’t seem right to me, but it’s not like I have applied for dual citizenship or anything, so it doesn’t seem like I have much validity to voice my stance on the subject. It would make more sense for me to discuss these topics if decide to get off my ass and vote, right? If I decide to become a citizen, I will take a nude photograph of me voting for the first time- just don’t tell anyone watching the booths what I’m doing in there. It will take away from the experience.
Hmm… should have come back to Canada and voted with me on Monday! Now, we’ve been friends for a while now and I know you’re into pretty dorky things.. but one thing I don’t know, what are your favourite movies?
You’ve don’t notice the annoying clips, quotes, jokes or references? I like that… I hate being specific because I know I’ll leave out my favourites, but, when I tried moving back to Canada when I was 17, I lived for 2 weeks off Night at the Roxbury, Clueless, and Family Guy DVDs. I really enjoy laughing…
Let’s do a few this or that’s…
5 Inch or 9 Inch Penis?
? Is there a man attached to the penis, or can I break it down and carry it with me in my purse to use on friends? You’ll have to be more specific… For the insecure, size doesn’t matter… not to me, anyway.
Star Wars or Star Trek?
You’re evil. Pure concentrated evil. My foot is going ballistic while I am thinking this over. I’ll go for duration of distraction- Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Iron Man or Spiderman?
You know I’m rooting for Batman. *looks at the date* “And you know this…maaaaaaaaan”
Fuck, Marry, Kill (in their prime)…. Stephen Hawking, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton?
WOW, what a question! I would rock the wheels off Hawking and hear what came out of the speakers, marry Einstein even though he cheated (he was a dedicated man, what can I say? I admire loyalty) and I wouldn’t WANT to kill Newton, but I would probably bungee jump with him off a bridge just to test gravity…it wouldn’t be my fault if he was part of that TINY percent who doesn’t survive, would it? Shrodinger would probably argue that in many ways, each of these could be possible no matter how I choose to answer in *this* reality.
What’s your favourite word?
“what?” “really?” “FUCK!” Sometimes a combination of the three that sounds like “AAARGGGHH!” so that might work…
Not surprised fuck is in there ;). What are you most insecure about?
My insecurities. They’re quite the bitch, you know. They’re the same as everyone else’s, cliche insecurities.. not feeling the sense of “belonging” somewhere, people judging, etc. It’s just what I choose to do about my insecurities that makes the difference. For me, that means exposing them to the internet for criticism. The activities I enjoy the most tend to be ones I lack talent, so it works out for me, somehow.
Now, I know you just had your directorial debut… how did it go? Who were the girls you directed? Did you jump in and show them how you wanted to scene to go?
It went better than I could have imagined. I already had an idea of what I would like for the story, but it took me MONTHS to figure out a more simplistic approach. I had to do a lot of digging in my sub-conscious mind to figure out what it is I truly would like to get out of my head and express in a story…
Confusion, disillusionment, and extreme heart palpitations just happened to hang around for the experience. I dug so deep, I was offered to direct a second feature to be shot the same day, so overnight I tried coming up with a sequel, but that was much easier than the first.
I had the pleasure of directing Dylan Ryder and Lexi Belle for the first feature, and Nikki Benz and Lexi Belle for the second. I still don’t believe it- I’m waiting on evidence.
As far as jumping in, I didn’t really think about it while shooting- my jaw had to be surgically removed from the cement, and the only thing that was coming out of my mouth was whispers and gasps of, “oh my god, this is so hot…holy shit, this is real? oh fuck that’s hot…oh…fuck….SO hot..” Have you ever tried interrupting girls while they’re making out to offer advice? Didn’t think so…
What’s the future for the Heather Summers brand?
I was unaware of the brand status. Cows are branded…what are you trying to say?
If a guy lasts for 8 seconds, what are your first thoughts?
“Sucker,” or “Thanks, the extra 3 seconds were for your ego”
You’re welcome. Lastly, what really turns you on?
I’ll copy and paste this from a message only one friend has access to… ” Things that light your fires:
Vibrations, therotrical physics, passionate kisses with no leader but a mutual tango of the lips, cradling the back of my partner’s head as we trade intimacy secrets, deep tissue massages from asian women, similar tastes in aesthetics, ego-stroking, never losing the playful quality of life and adventure. Gender-bending. Rule-bending, even though it can be heart-breaking.”
Make sure you go follow Heather on Twitter.
Check out her blog for more insight into her (and she shares a picture from time to time).
And her website is ClubHeatherSummers.com
